Body Language
29 October 2008
After the launch of my book, The Body Language Bible, I was invited in by Vermilion to give a brief talk on the subject to the whole team at Pimlico. Now, body language is a two-way communication and, although I’m fond of repeating the fact that non-verbal analysis is not a precise science, I’d be failing in my duty if I didn’t read all the signals that any audience will be oozing while I’m speaking.
Some of my corporate audiences are easy to read (intimidated, fascinated and/or drunk would be some regular states, especially at residential conferences where my noisy and energetic approach means I’m often put on during what are called the ‘graveyard slots’, like 9am after an evening of free booze for the delegates or just following a three course lunch), but some audience responses are more puzzling. I was recently invited to speak on The Body Language Bible at The Clacton Arts Festival (yes, I know, twinned with Hay-on-Wye … I don’t think so!) and arrived to find the speaker before me facing an audience consisting of one man and a pushchair. During the ‘networking’ break I asked him why he’d attended a session on Clacton poetry and discovered the hall also housed the most convenient public toilets.
I imagine my own body language signals on arrival in the Random House lecture theatre could have been deciphered by the audience as ‘mild shock’. I’d been treated to lunch by my agent who wanted to see me in action (talking, not eating!) and we’d then had a pre-meet in Vermilion. Being ripped from the womb-like warmth of the canteen I was rushed through a side door leading not to a corridor as I’d been expecting, but directly into the lectern space in front of a full, waiting audience; a classic ‘Pierrepoint’ moment similar to the man in the condemned cell discovering the noose is actually waiting in the room right next to where he has been smoking his last fag!
I wish I could say that an eager and warm reception from the audience signalled instant bonding and empathy, but part of the curse of my job is reading behind polite behaviours. In the blink of an eye I could tell that these people were not yet all fans of mine. In fact, I could have pinpointed almost exactly everyone involved in the publishing, marketing and promotion of my book (plus my agents) versus those who wanted to get back up to their desks. In body language terms this translated as: a) the kind of eager but anxious smiles a parent uses watching their child’s first school nativity (my agents); b) Warm, encouraging hosting smiles (my editor, Julia, and her team); versus c) something I can only describe as X-Factor judges-esque (the vast bulk of the middle section).
This last, more Botoxed look rapidly wore off though and, as smiles broke out and the audience began to relax, a certain strong tribal pecking-order began to emerge. The body language signals of large groups are great betrayers of power and status and – despite some initial competition from a young pretender in the back row (pit-baring at an early stage registered aspirational Alpha tendencies) – it was a man slap bang in the middle of the group whose spatial dominance and visual response-rate leaked total animal control tendencies well before the half-way mark.
Anyone ever embarking on selling to groups might like this tip: when you’re looking for the true decision-taker in your audience, go for the one who instigates all the posture-changes. Underlings will never take the lead, but they will automatically follow suit in a bid to declare empathy. This guy’s dominance signals were so absolute I expect some others in the audience are only just mirroring his poses … some several weeks later!
But the room wasn’t all his. Despite adopting an ‘Alan Sugar’ approach to leadership body language, there was someone else employing the truer signals of the genuine Alpha in any colony i.e. body language silence. Sitting still but upright throughout the talk she adopted the pose of the ultimate alpha who (in ape terms) has total ability to kill via superior strength but who therefore has no need to indulge in any displays of aggressive arousal or power-posturing, preferring to let their simian lieutenants do any fighting or rule-keeping for them.
This is a very potent role in any animal colony, especially as it comes (in ape terms) with two clear key benefits: a) first pickings of the tribe’s food; plus (and more importantly) b) first option of sex with the very best-looking tribal members. With this thought in mind I can only hope I get invited back to the Ebury Christmas party so I can see if these last two Alpha qualities are put into practice!
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